Thursday, April 17, 2014

emerging, maybe.

Although, really, it's still a feeling of submersion I hold inside.

Your comments on my last post were very much appreciated. It still amazes me that you read my blog and write me the most generous comments, texts or emails. You are big-hearted women, and I am so lucky and blessed to know you.

We are swimming in a weird status quo as far as child care goes. Gummy Girl continues to attend Mediocre Child Care Centre. She continues to struggle with separation, although she is getting used to the drill. Her father and I continue to feel dissatisfied with this situation, although we both recognize that emotions aside, this is not horrible. Or even bad. It's a good enough child care placement. But word, good enough feels far short of what a mother wants for her precious girl.

My frantic nanny search was, as is true for so many things in life, require a ton of effort for little return. Lots of sifting through potential candidates, some of which made it to Augusta's Gate #1 (phone call) and were quickly dismissed. Mostly on grounds of availability. At least one on grounds of my gut saying I couldn't trust her (and I listened to said gut this time, you'll be happy to note).

We interviewed a young woman last weekend. She sounded like a winner on the phone, but having her in our home confirmed it. Gummy smiled at her, waved at her and gestured to be picked up by her soon after she arrived. This is Gummy at her most comfortable. As for Mr. A and I, we both felt like we could trust this young woman and that she loves children.

It took a few days to hear back from her about her references, but she came through, and I started calling them last night. One mom told me she left her 10-month-old with this young woman for the weekend. I think that speaks volumes.

So, it's not finalized yet, but it looks like we might have a nanny. It will eat up a rather large percentage of my income, but at least my mind and heart will be much more at peace. And I feel like I will be giving my girl more than just good enough.  


22 comments:

  1. It will eat up a rather large percentage of my income, but at least my mind and heart will be much more at peace.

    And in the long run, what would you rather have: More money, or the peace of mind knowing your daughter grew up in circumstances you approved of?

    Yeah, that makes the answer easy, doesn't it. :)

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    1. sure does. Thank you for that, dear woman.

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  2. I'm so glad you found someone EVERYONE in your family is comfortable with. That is wonderful news!

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  3. So glad you found someone who will take good care of your girl!

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  4. Trust the baby. The income part is more than painful, but knowing that Gummy is happy and cared for is worth the investment. By far, the child care question was the most troubling thing to deal with. Finding a good fit is a blessing and I have lots of great thoughts and wishes for you right here.

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    1. I can feel the love from the south. Thank you, Misfit.

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  5. Exciting! So great to find someone who feels like a good fit. And yeah, I'm not sure whether I get paid more or less than our nanny, but the privilege of being able to go to work (and for the pumpling to have terrific care outside of her parents) is utterly worth it. <3

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    1. Thank you for your great help in getting us on the track to finding a nanny, dearest Pumpkin.

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  6. Thrilled to read you might have found a wonderful nanny! Sweet gummy girl; she deserves the best. :)

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  7. Having Gummy well taken care of by someone that SHE likes and that YOU like is priceless. This brings tears of joy to my eyes for you. I'm so glad you have found a solution that works well for your family. No mama should ever have to worry that her little miracle is not being taken care of properly.

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    1. The worrying is endless, isn't it. Thanks for your kind words, TeeJay. I hope all is well with you and your sweet girl.

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  8. How wonderful that you found someone that Gummy and you like! This seems like the best case scenario. And the price tag, well, I think a few years down the road it won't look that important. (At least I hope so, because any sort of childcare here will eat up a large part of my income.) I hope it all works out and the new nanny can start looking after Gummy soon.

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    1. That's also how I view it: it's not money I'll regret spending. Thanks for your support, CC.

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  9. I'm thrilled that you've found a young woman that you are all happy with! Especially Gummy. Her opinion is most important, no!? :)

    I hear such relief in this post. This makes me happy.

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    1. Thanks Suzanne. I look forward to a time when you are having to make childcare decisions, when YOUR child needs it. I believe in that day.

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  10. HELLO YOUNG WOMAN! I really hope YW works out. I fantasize that you will get a job closer to home and that you will be paid soooooo much you'll have plenty for this and other essentials. But in the meantime, this seems like a really good solution. I am so so so grateful for our Young Woman, and hope that yours brings you all the peace you deserve.

    In graduate school my friends sent me lentils so I could get by on my meager income. Let me know if you need some until Gummy starts school!

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    1. Yes, please! Professional college dues + hefty car repairs this morning = we will not eat until June. Lentils would save us from starvation. You're always there for me, Bunny. Thank you.

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  11. Hi there, I just wanted to check in to see how you are doing and how things are going. Thinking of you!

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  12. The childcare struggle is so complicated. We also ended up having a nanny come to the house to care for little fox until he was almost 2. We were paying an arm and a leg for her, but she did so much more for our family by keeping the home kept and keeping my boy loved - and keeping me sane. She had her own baby and while she was out we my mom ended up retiring (totally unexpectedly) and now she watches my boy three days a week while I work. Its been like a massive jigsaw puzzle to manage the childcare, and it is constantly changing. Some weeks ML takes a day off to provide care, some weeks we are trading care, sometimes he comes with me to meetings, A MASSIVE jigsaw puzzle.

    Much luck and patience to you as you find the right mix of home care, parent care, friend care, etc for your sweet girl.

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