Wednesday, November 6, 2013

questions answered: sunshine award

The lovely Suzanne, at Our journey to a baby bump nominated me for a sunshine award. Thanks, lovely woman.

I'm not really all that good at following rules around these things, but I did want to make an effort and answer the questions that Suzanne drafted. Otherwise, I nominate anyone still reading this blog for this award. And if you feel like it, you can answer Suzanne great questions, because my brain is apparently not coming up with its on (did I mention I was trying to do NaNoWriMo?)

Here goes:

1) Was there a particular moment in your infertility journey that made you realize that you wanted/needed to start blogging? 
We started looking into things in 2006. We knew we wanted children, but I also knew it would be a struggle. We treatments in early 2009. We already knew that the problem lied within my reproductive organs: I had never menstruated without the assistance of medication. We were told that a medicated IUI would be the first thing to try and so we did. The first one was in June 2009 and it was over almost before it begun. The menop.ur wasn't doing anything to my ovaries. Second IUI was in September 2009, after a long priming with estra.ce. After higher doses of meno.pur, still there was no waking up my sleeping ovaries. The cycle was a bust, and there was basically nothing the clinic could do for us unless we found ourselves a donor. I was in a grief-stricken state of shock for a few weeks. And was quite depressed for months. I felt isolated and I needed to talk about this experience. So I started writing on this blog. That was October 2009. 

2) What was your favorite vacation spot ever? 
I think my trip to the Yukon and Alaska when I was 25 was the most inspiring trip I ever took. I love hiking/backpacking and find myself at home in the mountains. It was awe-inspiring to be amidst the deep, northern wilderness. The highlight of that trip was a 7-day backpacking loop to the Donjec glacier in Kluane National Park. It was the most intense backpacking I've ever done, and it taught me much about my own strength.  

3) What food could you never live without? 
Yummy kitchen sink-type salads with my own dressing, honeycrisp apples, peanut butter, dark chocolate, coffee, club soda and red wine. 

4) If you could spend one day with anyone (dead or alive) who would it be? Why? What would you do? 
It sounds weird, but I'm thinking I would pick Carl Rogers. I'd want to talk to him more about how psychotherapy has developed since his client-centered approach was hatched. 

5) Favorite article of clothing? 
Right now it's my oat-coloured cowl neck wool sweater, but my preferred article of clothing changes regularly.  

6) We have so many tears through you have a REALLY funny moment that you've shared with your husband through all of this? 
That is such a great question, Suzanne, but I'm racking my brain and can't remember any funny moments. Just dreary dread and sadness. 

7) Your child's 16th birthday present...a new car or a nicely wrapped stack of fertility bills and  bus pass?? 
Neither. Probably we would want to host a dinner with her friends, and let them drink wine, and ask about what dreams they are holding for themselves. 

8) What one thing would you go back and tell your 20 year old self? 
Find a way to be on your own team, 'gusta. Seriously, you have to find a way to make friends with yourself and SOON. Figure out all the ways you are awesome and focus on that, instead of thinking about all the ways in which you are not enough. You ARE enough. Now, keep going and have a great life! 

9) You are going on a trip and lose your suitcase. What one item are you going to replace first the second you get where you're going!?
my estr.ace and prom.etrium 

10) What is the best part of blogging your IF journey? 
The amazing connections I've been privileged to have with other women, and the sense of being held in the warm care of an amazing community. I remember sometime after I started blogging going to our clinic to have some procedure. I was tense and apprehensive, and trying my best to hold myself together. I went to the bathroom and on my way there, I thought about all of my online friends who would be thinking of me and hoping right along with me. Just thinking about that gave me a huge boost on that day, and so many days after that. I stopped feeling so isolated in my IF journey. I also could borrow from other women's hope for me when I had none left for myself.