Sunday, July 21, 2013

Birth Story: The postscript

A few side notes before I begin. 'Gusta gots herself a new computer. Loving my new mac book air so far. 

And now for the bullet points.

What I learned from surviving and writing about the birth:

1) Childbirth = one risky proposition. Seriously people. I had heard it before, but I couldn't fathom that what happened to me could even happen. This has given me a new perspective on birth announcement that read: "Mother and baby are doing well"

2) So, hum, yeah, I couldn't breastfeed.

3) And, yeah,....I had some mild PTSD symptoms

4) I should make it a policy never to be discharged from a hospital without talking to an actual physician. I got discharged from the actual birth on Sunday evening, not having seen a physician since Friday morning. That was an error, and I should have picked up on it (but admittedly, I was busy and my brain wasn't fully functional).

5) I'm not sure I ever want to do that again. When I think about having another child, I can't get past the obvious imperative of giving birth to said hypothetical second child. And that's where it stops for me. I am at high risk of getting another placenta accreta (or worse. Increta. Precreta. Scary stuff indeed) and needing a hysterectomy at the birth (IVF, previous c-section and previous D&Cs all increase the risk). If you don't know what that's like, go on over to my friend E's Dreaming of Babies. She has just survived this procedure (and given birth to a beautiful baby girl. CONGRATS E). It scared the shit out of her. And it scares the shit out of me.

6) Always, always, ALWAYS bring the cell phone charger with me.

7) I need to write a letter to the hospital about Dr. TdC. I have thought about this a lot and I need to do it to wrap up the experience fully. I wrote lots of thank you cards to docs and nurses who helped use during that time, but I also need to let someone know that we were not treated respectfully. I don't think it is a matter of contacting the college of physicians because there was no clear malpractice. However, he treated Mr. A and I like shit and we should let the hospital know that despite having a reportedly "great surgeon" on staff, he is causing a lot of harm to patients on an interpersonal level.

8) Despite retreating from my Pleasantville community for years while I was going through IF hell, they rallied and surrounded us with love and support when we needed it most. We have generous, good hearted people in our lives and for that we are immensely grateful. It would have been easier to give up on me as a friend because I was not available during those years, but many just waited patiently for me to emerge from that dark fog. And when they were asked to help in that first week of March and in the weeks after, so many of them helped us in small and big ways. I find this amazing, and tried to thank each of these friends as best I could.

9) I would do it all over in a heartbeat because the end result was that I now have my gummy girl. She lights up my life the way the sun could never manage to.  

9 comments:

  1. I just caught up on all of your posts. You have been in my thoughts. You had a wild ride bringing Gummy into the world. I am so glad you hung in there through it all. Glad you had good people watching over you minus that dr tdc--whom you would absolutely write a letter about.
    Hope all is well with you my friend.

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  2. Love the last line, and the fact that you have her. Sorry for the crap you went through, and totally hear you on not wanting to go through this again. The trauma totally stays with us. But sometimes we forget, over time, and want to get back in the ring again...

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  3. Love the last line, and the fact that you have her. Sorry for the crap you went through, and totally hear you on not wanting to go through this again. The trauma totally stays with us. But sometimes we forget, over time, and want to get back in the ring again...

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  4. Tracking whilst hurlling to the other coast for work. I take loads of delight in these updates. Even if I am wont for meaningful words. I have been terrified at the enormous thing that brought you sweet gummi, but I am glad for the things that went right to bring you her. A blessing beyond measure.

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  5. I hope to write a post as beautiful as this one one day. This truly brought a smile to my face today when those have been hard to find lately.

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  6. 1. I know. It's disturbing how much I take it for granted, but your story made me insanely grateful for modern obstetrics.
    2. I'm sorry. I wish it had worked. Again, high fives to modern science for producing a completely wonderful alternative.
    3. I'm SO SO sorry. And surprised they were mild.
    ...
    7. YES. I know, maybe it seems like a great combination of futile and excruciating, but it's worth while. I know a L&D nurse who is so furious about the Terrible Doctor, but unless everyone meticulously documents, there's no hope of getting rid of people like this.
    8. OF COURSE. You are a gift to these lucky people.
    9. *Reaches for the handkerchief* SUCK IT, SUN! YOU ARE NOTHING! Perhaps Mr. A will find Gummy improves the quality of his crops, even!

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  7. I'm so glad about (8) and (9). Especially (8) is something I'm worried about...
    On (7), yes, if you can do it without too much pain for yourself, you'd be doing future patients a favor.
    (5) and (1) are scary indeed. I didn't know IVF increases the risk.
    (0) No idea why I'm doing this backwards. I'm so glad both you and Gummy made it out ok.

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  8. I've been catching up on the past two weeks. I'm so sorry for the way you were treated. That should never happen! I hope you are able to write that letter. Thinking of you.

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