A few side notes before I begin. 'Gusta gots herself a new computer. Loving my new mac book air so far.
And now for the bullet points.
What I learned from surviving and writing about the birth:
1) Childbirth = one risky proposition. Seriously people. I had heard it before, but I couldn't fathom that what happened to me could even happen. This has given me a new perspective on birth announcement that read: "Mother and baby are doing well"
2) So, hum, yeah, I couldn't breastfeed.
3) And, yeah,....I had some mild PTSD symptoms
4) I should make it a policy never to be discharged from a hospital without talking to an actual physician. I got discharged from the actual birth on Sunday evening, not having seen a physician since Friday morning. That was an error, and I should have picked up on it (but admittedly, I was busy and my brain wasn't fully functional).
5) I'm not sure I ever want to do that again. When I think about having another child, I can't get past the obvious imperative of giving birth to said hypothetical second child. And that's where it stops for me. I am at high risk of getting another placenta accreta (or worse. Increta. Precreta. Scary stuff indeed) and needing a hysterectomy at the birth (IVF, previous c-section and previous D&Cs all increase the risk). If you don't know what that's like, go on over to my friend E's Dreaming of Babies. She has just survived this procedure (and given birth to a beautiful baby girl. CONGRATS E). It scared the shit out of her. And it scares the shit out of me.
6) Always, always, ALWAYS bring the cell phone charger with me.
7) I need to write a letter to the hospital about Dr. TdC. I have thought about this a lot and I need to do it to wrap up the experience fully. I wrote lots of thank you cards to docs and nurses who helped use during that time, but I also need to let someone know that we were not treated respectfully. I don't think it is a matter of contacting the college of physicians because there was no clear malpractice. However, he treated Mr. A and I like shit and we should let the hospital know that despite having a reportedly "great surgeon" on staff, he is causing a lot of harm to patients on an interpersonal level.
8) Despite retreating from my Pleasantville community for years while I was going through IF hell, they rallied and surrounded us with love and support when we needed it most. We have generous, good hearted people in our lives and for that we are immensely grateful. It would have been easier to give up on me as a friend because I was not available during those years, but many just waited patiently for me to emerge from that dark fog. And when they were asked to help in that first week of March and in the weeks after, so many of them helped us in small and big ways. I find this amazing, and tried to thank each of these friends as best I could.
9) I would do it all over in a heartbeat because the end result was that I now have my gummy girl. She lights up my life the way the sun could never manage to.