Wednesday, July 24, 2013

My friend needs YOUR help

Lovelies, my friend is in the dark land of limbo. A place most of you have visited once, if not several times. I need your help in supporting her.

Veronica is my IRL friend who has been struggling with secondary infertility. She is awesome. You would love her.

Here are a few details of her story:
  • Had a successful pregnancy with OE, then Secondary IF
  • Moved on to DE after failed infertility treatment
  • Had first DE transfer of handsome 5-day blastocyst on 01/07. 
  • Nice initial betas: 1000+ at 16dp5dt and 2300+ at 18dp5dt.   

Veronica went in for her first u/s today at 6w1d. She measured on target, but there was only a very small yolk sack, and no sign of a fetal pole. Beta was 12000+

My sense from what I've read is that it could go either way at this point. Her local doc thinks it could be a blighted ovum. But I'm guessing it could also be a slow start. She's due for another u/s next week, which will hopefully determine what is going on.

Friends, if you have stories of things going well after a similar start, it would help Veronica to read stories of hope. If you have a story like that or have read someone's else's blog with a similar start, can you please link it in your comment. She reads my blog regularly and will be so grateful to read your thoughts.

Thank you

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Postscript addendum

Yes, I'm long winded. You knew that already. So,  seven posts for the birth story. It's a little much. I know.

I just had to illustrate point #9 on my previous entry

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Birth Story: The postscript

A few side notes before I begin. 'Gusta gots herself a new computer. Loving my new mac book air so far. 

And now for the bullet points.

What I learned from surviving and writing about the birth:

1) Childbirth = one risky proposition. Seriously people. I had heard it before, but I couldn't fathom that what happened to me could even happen. This has given me a new perspective on birth announcement that read: "Mother and baby are doing well"

2) So, hum, yeah, I couldn't breastfeed.

3) And, yeah,....I had some mild PTSD symptoms

4) I should make it a policy never to be discharged from a hospital without talking to an actual physician. I got discharged from the actual birth on Sunday evening, not having seen a physician since Friday morning. That was an error, and I should have picked up on it (but admittedly, I was busy and my brain wasn't fully functional).

5) I'm not sure I ever want to do that again. When I think about having another child, I can't get past the obvious imperative of giving birth to said hypothetical second child. And that's where it stops for me. I am at high risk of getting another placenta accreta (or worse. Increta. Precreta. Scary stuff indeed) and needing a hysterectomy at the birth (IVF, previous c-section and previous D&Cs all increase the risk). If you don't know what that's like, go on over to my friend E's Dreaming of Babies. She has just survived this procedure (and given birth to a beautiful baby girl. CONGRATS E). It scared the shit out of her. And it scares the shit out of me.

6) Always, always, ALWAYS bring the cell phone charger with me.

7) I need to write a letter to the hospital about Dr. TdC. I have thought about this a lot and I need to do it to wrap up the experience fully. I wrote lots of thank you cards to docs and nurses who helped use during that time, but I also need to let someone know that we were not treated respectfully. I don't think it is a matter of contacting the college of physicians because there was no clear malpractice. However, he treated Mr. A and I like shit and we should let the hospital know that despite having a reportedly "great surgeon" on staff, he is causing a lot of harm to patients on an interpersonal level.

8) Despite retreating from my Pleasantville community for years while I was going through IF hell, they rallied and surrounded us with love and support when we needed it most. We have generous, good hearted people in our lives and for that we are immensely grateful. It would have been easier to give up on me as a friend because I was not available during those years, but many just waited patiently for me to emerge from that dark fog. And when they were asked to help in that first week of March and in the weeks after, so many of them helped us in small and big ways. I find this amazing, and tried to thank each of these friends as best I could.

9) I would do it all over in a heartbeat because the end result was that I now have my gummy girl. She lights up my life the way the sun could never manage to.  

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

The pre postscript

So, I went on vacation and came back to the black screen of death on my Mac. I guess like my cat, it was pissed at me for leaving. I wish it were easier to comment on my phone but it is what it is. I apologize for my absence in your comment section (or, ahem, you are welcome. I'm glad you enjoy my more succinct comments).

A few things, not in any meaningful order:

•I mean to write a few thoughts about the epic birth story but do you really want me to rattle on about that for a sixth post? i still may, hence the title.

• traveling with a baby is exhausting in a different way than a seven-day backpacking loop in the Yukon. Perhaps more exhausting.

• my mother tried to say that my baby girl was fat. While I could never stand up for myself when she said the same of me in the past, I firmly told her that this was unacceptable behavior. 

• we visited with our good friends in Boston and western MA. Oh, how I wish we all lived closer to one another.

• traveling is fun, but it's good to be home.

• a good IRL friend had a DE IVF transfer recently. I am holding my breath for a BFP.

• I've been sad to read about the recent miscarriages in this community. And sad that Adele is closing up shop and that CGD has too.