Friday, April 19, 2013

don't touch my bebeh

Many a pregnant woman dreads the belly rub from a stranger. I was fearing it myself a few months ago, as my expanding belly became more appealing to the common groper. I am happy to report that it never happened, despite my apprehension that it was just a matter of time before someone would touch my abdomen without my permission. Some close friends rubbed my belly after I gave them permission and that was a-ok. My mom rubbed it once after asking me, but it turns out I really meant to say no, so I backed away and that was that. Thankfully, no one else tried to cop a feel.

I was taking a walk yesterday with gummy in the This woman clad in a completely coral outfit (coral sweat pants and coral t-shirt. Did she have coral socks and coral underwear? I didn't care to know) came up to me cooing over my baby. And then, she did the thing that annoys me the most: she tried to touch my baby's face.

This happened twice before, which annoyed me then too. Granted, once she was touched by a 2.5-year-old who was excited to see her. I wasn't as annoyed with this child, as I was scared for my own. The 2.5-year-old had just been sick with a cold and my baby was only 3-weeks old. I could picture myself in the emergency room AGAIN in short order. But no. My baby was fine. The other time, we were walking downtown and this woman from church tried to touch my baby's face.  I wanted to punch her.

Faced with the situation of strangers touching my baby's face, I see only two options:

Option 1
Barricade myself and gummy inside our home. Deal with crushing isolation and develop PPD (like I'm not already at huge risk. So, no.)

Option 2 (the option I've been exercising)
Swat at the ladies' hands like they are flies. Yes, you read correctly. Swat at them.

I'm incredibly surprised at how emboldened I've become as a new mother. I don't want anyone's germs on my brand new, immuno-fragile (what's the word here, science bloggers?) baby. So I've been, reflexively at first, and now consciously, swatting people's hands off my girl. It goes against every fiber of my good-girl upbringing, and it is incredibly satisfying.

So if we see each other on the street and you want to touch my baby, please identify yourself as a fellow blogger. I'll bust out the hand sanitizer and let you tickle her very fat cheeks. 


  1. Good for you! Protect your babe and keep your worries at bay. People should understand and for heavens sake they shouldn't be touching her in the first place. I always had car seat covers or blankets in tow for trips to the store (those took away temptation of strangers) but never had to deal with warm weather or walking. Good luck and swat away. If they don't get the hint grab or touch at their face and see how they like it ;) haha

  2. Yes to the hand sanitizer. More than touching the FACE I couldn't stand it when people touched my kids' HANDS, which went straight into the mouth. Love that foamy baby friendly sanitizer stuff....

    But, really, what is it with people? Stop assaulting the babies, strangers!!!

  3. I carry wipes with alcohol. Beware the grandmas. Usually the moby is a barrier as they must intrude on personal space. Swat away, dear. I fell that it akin to someone grabbing ass. Offensive.

  4. "Naive immune system" is what scientists usually say. :) Her immune system is as robust as anyone's - at least I certainly hope so! - it just hasn't met many viruses yet!

  5. Ha, ha. This post made me laugh. Thank you! Just found your blog and it inspired me so I thought I'd let you know. Looking forward to following your adventures with gummy.

  6. I think gummy might be so adorable and sweet that even well-behaved people are overwhelmed. I totally intend to touch her at the first opportunity. I give you mad props for swatting. It's the appropriate response. I'm shocked that having her in a carrier is not sufficient defense! I've heard people say oh, just stick the baby in a carrier and people aren't going to invade your space to get at it...apparently this does not apply to baby-crazy Canadians!

  7. I certainly don't want anyone to touch my belly or baby (or a number of other parts) without invitation, so swatting sounds like a good idea!

  8. If I saw you, I would prob take moby and baby all in one.

  9. oh my gosh I loved reading this post - it has me just sitting here smiling picturing you swatting at random strangers who approach to fondle the little one attached to your chest.

    I, on the other hand, was handing my little off to anyone who was willing to take him while fighting the urge to run away on my own. Its bizarre the way that being a parent works. I am much more protective now :)

    I love that you are still writing Augusta! xoxo