Friday, February 8, 2013

still betting on an early gummy

My appointment went well yesterday morning. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts.

I didn't know what to expect. I fanned out the scenarios and ran them through my head a few times per hour. My blood pressure was fine on Wednesday morning, but when I stopped at the drug store later that evening, it was 145/100, which seems crazy to a girl who often has average to low b/p. I also had pain on my right side, which I know is not a great constellation of symptoms to have when one is 35 weeks pregnant.

I got home and felt like crying. Whaaaaaaaaa. I don't want gummy to be evicted now. She is so protected in there. And I know just how to feed her in her fetus state (worries over breastfeeding have emerged anew, and you will find me ruminating on this topic several times per day. HOW, oh HOW, will I feed my child? - It gets a little dramatic).

But my b/p was ok this morning at my appointment, and there wasn't any protein in my urine. Dr. Smiley didn't like Wednesday night's numbers at all, and wants to see me next week instead of in 2 weeks.

I am still getting pain on my upper right abdomen, and it worries me. Like I've said before, I'm really good at worrying. It's a bonus when there's an actual reason to worry. Right on cue, my aunt called last night to give me a stern talking to. I assume she spoke to my mother, who as Mr. A said this morning, believes I should have been on bed rest since July. My aunt is a nurse in a NICU. She laid it out to me like this: women die, babies die and I need to stop work right now if I don't want that to happen to me or gummy. Thanks. Those are some really swell reminders. It's always awesome to be reminded of one's incompetence by being told exactly how one should behave. It's all coming from a place of caring of course, but it drives me nuts.

Anyway, I am home today. And resting. Our office is closed because of a massive snow storm I ordered for Mr. A's birthday. He's really pleased with his present, and it makes the bitter pill of 40 a little easier to swallow.

new picture on gummy bear page - evidence to support 'big as home' assertion


  1. Definitely not a house/home at all. You look great!! Seriously :) I hope that the blood pressure issues have just been flukes. Here's hoping for a couple more weeks of smoother sailing at least. Have you asked your doc about going on leave from work early? I'm sure you have. Anyway thinking of you and wishing you and gummy well :)

  2. There is no way a person as active as you can stomach 6 months of bed rest, lol! Yes, bad things happen, but a LOT of good things happen, too! If everything were truely as difficult as people sometimes make them out to be, we would not have survived as a species! You know this saying? It's going to be ok in the end; if it's not ok then it isn't the end. And it's going to be OK! I love you and hope to get to phone chat with you sooner than later.
    <3 Momo

  3. ps, I looked like that at 6mo, lol. I almost cut someone at a party because she doubted my assertion that I was NOT carrying twins!

  4. Yes, WELL, people are in car accidents every day too.

    It sounds like your doctor is being very careful and... has that drugstore machine been calibrated recently???

    1. good point, Jenny. I guess those machines might not be well calibrated, or be calibrated differently from one to the next.

  5. Well...I guess you have a substantial bump, but I am so blinded by the beauty of it that I don't really see the bigness. I am glad you are taking care of yourself, and getting extra care. I don't know what the original plan was, but I got weekly visits starting at week 36 anyway, so it seems reasonable. I also remember the following around this time, which may help you feel extra normal:
    1. Endless thoughts of stillbirth and death death death.
    2. Extreme emotions over the eviction of the fetus, including huddled sobbing.
    I hope you guys weather the storm in safety and happiness. I mean the literal one. But also the metaphorical one. And happy birthday to your good man.

  6. Its obvious your aunt loves the pants off you so I guess thats why she feels the need to protect you but seriously... bedrest from July???? That can't be plausible, especially when you're doing such a great job of looking after Gummy as it is. All this pregnancy advice gives me the heebie jeebies... we're told to keep fit because you need to be in shape for labour but then on the other hand we're told to stop doing things (and be on bedrest from July...) so honestly, whats a girl supposed to believe???
    I agree with bunny's comment about your bump. It looks perfect to me ... you look perfect!!

  7. Terror. New swelling. All sorts of fear about everything but breast feeding. Read that survival chapter and bring it to the hospital. Have a place on mind to call in an emergency to get professional help.

    My monitoring started at 32 weeks twice a week and my critter lasted 39 weeks before eviction. Honestly, these weeks were the most terrifying. You can't help but worry and worry. The newborn stress was nothing terrible in comparison. Thinking if you tons and your gummy Pisces.

  8. Well, I think you look great, and not nearly as large as a house! I am glad that your bp at the dr office was good - I agree with another poster - the machine at the drugstore may not be well calibrated. Is there another in the vicinity you can try? It is great your dr is keeping you well monitored, I am sure he/she is doing their best to make sure you and gummy stay well. I am sure if your dr wanted you on best rest at any point, she would have told you so. Don't let your aunt worry you too much (don't need that affecting your bp!) Feeding will go just fine - trust yourself and your body to do what it is supposed to do!
    It is so easy to worry about everything, especially with all we go through to get to this point. Sending good thoughts and many prayers your way!

  9. You look fabulous for being 35wks pregnant! Hope you have a peaceful drama free weekend that helps to give you some relaxation. Change is always a bit anxiety provoking and you're on the verge of a major life transition so it's completely normal you're feeling apprehensive about all of the unknowns related to that. Sending love and thoughts your way and hope that you feel strength & peace

  10. Oh, you look amazing! And of *course* you're worried. Who wouldn't be? But I know you are doing absolutely everything to make sure Inside Gummy is healthy and safe, and when she decides it's time to be Outside Gummy it will happen, and she will be there, and you will feed her, and you will be the best mom ever...

  11. Thinking of you constantly. You look gorgeous w/your lovely Gummy bump and I am 100% confident she'll be a Pisces. Much love and deep faith in a continued healthy pregnancy and healthy baby girl! XOXO Oat

  12. love the new picture of miss gummy. hang in there. or better yet, tell Gummy to hang on. and if only well meaning people would take a moment think about what they are saying before they say it and then not say what they were about to say. oh well. regardless, women and babies do not die everyday in childbirth. as a nurse she should know--i dare you to ask her how many women and children died in childbirth at her hospital that week. my guess--her answer would be--zero.

    thinking of you. you will do such an awesome job taking care of Gummy--and whether or not the breastfeeding works, etc, whatever you do, it will be just fine. --you are her mom and like they say, mom knows best. so trust your instincts, and don't feel you need to take everyone's advice or listen to everyone's horror story.

  13. Shut the front door?!! 35 weeks?!! Eeek!! Gummy will be here in no time!

  14. 35 weeks ... you are SO close!! I can't wait to read about Gummy's arrival my friend! You are going to be such an amazing mommy :) Until then, please take good care of yourself!