Tuesday, November 20, 2012


24w1d today*. We have reached the elusive viability status. I beg gummy not to think this means it's time to make an appearance. But this was the next big milestone in my mind and now I've reached it. At the last OB appointment, I asked specifically about it. I thought that being in a smaller town, viability would be later, since there is no NICU at Pleasantville General Hospital. But the OB said viability is the same as it is everywhere, just that any babies looking to be born before 32 weeks will buy their mamas a ride in an ambulance to the university hospital 45 minutes away, or to the big city, or west to Fertility Treatment Town, my old haunt. Well I'm not planning on making the ambulance trip, but it's good to have the notion in mind of what would happen, and that gummy could live at this point.

At work today, I had the two extremes on a continuum of reactions to pregnant bodies. One colleague guffawed loudly and said "Wow Augusta, you have grown so much in the last few days! You have really popped!" And then later on, my boss stopped me in the hall and said "Augusta, I have to say I was looking at you in the kitchen and you can barely tell you are pregnant!" It just makes me laugh, since you know, I'm not feeling a tremendous amount of control over this. It's nothing I'm doing or not doing. I'm just growing a baby and I look the way I look. But it is a bit intense how much people are commenting on my body.

Speaking of work, it has continued to be super busy. I'm thankful for it, but it leaves me with less time to blog. At the beginning of December, I will be taking my final licensing exam. This one is an oral exam in front of a panel of three. I'm imagining it as nerve wracking as the Ph.D. defense, except this time, everyone in the room will be strangers. If I pass, it means I get my license and I won't have to worry about it while on mat leave. It also helps with looking for work after mat leave, since a job candidate with a license is preferable to one in the process of getting a license. Now if I can only start convincing myself that weekends are meant for preparing and not eating out and watching episodes of House.

Chicken thanks you for your sweet comments. She is well aware of how beautiful she is, but never tires of hearing it. She's a cat, after all. 

* I put a substandard bump pic on the gummy bear page of what my torso looks like at this point.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

My girl Chicken

Dude! why is my favourite lap getting so small?

Chicken is not sure that the expanding belly is such a good idea.

Where is she supposed to sit?

She also wants to know why people write an FET instead of  a FET. If someone could explain it to me, I can transmit that valuable information to her.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

I could get used to this

I had my first 'in office' OB visit this morning (my last one involved meeting my OB at the hospital). It went so well! She confirmed that the ultrasound results showed that the shadow was completely gone and there was nothing to worry about. Little SCH could still be seen, but she said that again, those were shrinking and nothing to worry about. My blood pressure was good. The fundus height was exactly where it should be. The baby's heartbeat was wonderful. She said gummy's weight estimation puts him/her at the 55th percentile. I told her I could get used to appointments like these, were everything goes well.

Oh ladies, it felt completely unusual (and frankly wonderful) to go in for an appointment and have absolutely nothing wrong. How many years of going to the RE and getting bad news after bad news, sprinkled with some good news that turns into bad news? Too many.

I asked about the sex of our gummy but it was not on the u/s report. At first, the resident seemed to say that I just wouldn't find out since there might not be any more u/s. When the OB came in, she said we'd probably do a growth scan at 30 weeks and be able to see the sex at that point. She intimated that the u/s tech was wrong to say that 19w4d was too early to visualize the sex. She said she'd send me somewhere else next time.

I also learned more about viability in our part of the world. It is, as in other first world nations, 24 weeks. I asked specifically if that was true in our little college town, and was told yes, since they transfer women to the big university hospital. The resident said she'd delivered a 23-week-old who lived. They will keep women delivering in Pleasantville starting at 34 weeks. I was grateful that Dr. Smiley explained all that, and that she totally got why I was asking. I need to get to the next milestone, I said.

I brought up the weigth issue, but it turned out to be a nonissue. When asked about it, my weight gain was described as "perfect".  Of course, I had been worried about it since, you know, it seems to be going up and up and up. The small remnants of anorexic Augusta start to voice their concern with any upward movement of the scale. But it was a tribute to my healthy self to hear that this is all unfolding as it should. At least, that's what I heard. Healing from the eating disorder has involved working towards eating as intuitively as I possibly can. It took more than a decade to get there, but I know it's been a great deal easier in the last 5 years. To know that I can do this part intuitively - the part about eating more to grow a baby - makes me see how completely I'm over that mindfuck. I feel really thankful for that (and yes, I might sing a different tune when I feel crappy about the baby weight once gummy is here). 

Well, I feel a bit like I jinxed things by congratulating the four amazing women who are recently pregnant. Almost as soon as I posted, I learned that La Fille's pregnancy was doomed, in more ways than I can really describe here. If you have any words of French in you (bonjour counts as a word), please go over at L'AMP pour les Nuls and give her a hug.