Tuesday, September 4, 2012

cloudy, but mostly calm

Dear reader, are you tired of the drama in this blog? I'm asking because I'm getting pretty tired of it myself. I can't really do anything to prevent shit from happening, but I've focused on chilling the hell out and so far, it's been working.

The SCHs have been silent. No cramping. No bleeding. (thanks for the reminder, Roccie). I used the doppler on the weekend and heard baby's heartbeat loud and clear. So while there is this threat of impending red doom, there is at the moment, nothing alarming (and please let this writing of it not act as a big jinx to the dormant SCHs, or as my friend dragonfly named them, the little shits).

Mr. A did some chatting at his men's group (yes, my hubby is a SNAG (sensitive new age guy) who goes to a men's group to drink imported beer and talk about his feelings). Turns out all the men were against the imaging clinic we visited. One of the men is married to a midwife, who steers all her patients away from that imaging clinic because it is crap. Another man relayed the story of how they measured his son as 4lbs over his actual birthweight and told his wife she would surely need a c-section (she didn't). So, this left me wondering about the diagnosis made from the ultrasound at said crap imaging clinic. And it made me long for the days of just going to our fertility clinic and getting an ultrasound from a DOCTOR. In our system, the technician does the u/s and the doctor reviews it and comments/diagnoses as needed.

I have an appointment with Dr. Lovely tomorrow (my gp), from whom I will request a consult with an OB. Pronto. I think I deserve to be assessed by an expert who can tell me what's what. I'd like to know where the little shits are located, and know what to expect. Are they likely to interfere with the placenta's attachment to the uterine wall or not very likely? Have they grown in size since assessed last Tuesday or are they shrinking? I need some answers women.

In the mean time, I am 13w1d, which is just a little bit amazing. I went to a big outdoor concert on the weekend and I declined when they wanted to put a "you're of age to drink alcohol" wrist band on my wrist. "I'm pregnant" I said. It felt SO GOOD to say that. While I still am afraid of the ramifications of the SCHs, and everything else that could go wrong, I am feeling like this might really happen. I'm sure I'll eat my words next time I get scared, but that's how I've been feeling in the last few days, and I like it.

Thank you for reminding me of how the horror stories of SCH turned up roses in the end. I needed to be reminded. Your support continues to help me put one foot in front of the other.


  1. There's something so sweet about the fact that the members of your husband's MEN'S GROUP have opinions about the IMAGING CENTER. But not as sweet as the fact that you're still blood and cramp free, and heard that beat so solidly. Very good to hear. And I'm so glad that you're seeing someone and can hopefully get a referral. I certainly agree that you deserve some expert care. Still very very hopeful that this will all be okay.

  2. continuing to send love and prayers your way.

  3. Yay for second trimester!!!

    FWIW, all my ultrasounds were done by a tech and then reviewed by the doctor, even when I went to a perinatologist at a big time medical school... But, if you're doubting your care absolutely get another opinion!

    I hope everything stays quiet.

  4. Love that everything is calm for the most part. Slow and steady wins the race!

  5. I am so happy to read that you're in a calm place right now despite everything going on. 13w1d is something to celebrate my friend! And I believe that this is YOUR time. Being able to say out loud to strangers "I'm Pregnant" rocks, doesn't it?!

    I hope that the SCH'd don't rear their ugly heads at all and that you continue along blissfully pregnant without complications! Hopefully your imaging centre are a bunch of assholes who've got this all wrong! Good luck at your OB appointment today - let us know how you make out.

  6. Calm is good. Those boogers being a figment of an overactive imagination would be sweet. Keeping up with you and glued here for updates. There's nothing you can say to make yourself unpregnant, even if you are a suspicious coot like myself. This is totally new ground, and you are almost halfway there. Warm thoughts from me tonight.

  7. Hooray to being 13 weeks pregnant! How I love that you said "I'm pregnant." Yes you are. I had an ultrasound at what I now know to be a dodgy clinic in Pleasantville on my first pregnancy and was told that I had a septate uterus and three yolk sacs. Wrong and wrong. So, I like your plan of seeking more information and clarification here.

    Hoping for sun for you.

  8. One day at a time Augusta...you can do this!