Monday, June 4, 2012

penetrating

No, this is not a post about fifty shades of grey. I'm referring to needles.

I went back to Dr. Ninja last Friday. It was sweet to be back. I didn't get to see the good doctor, but saw his lovely protege. She stayed far from dogmatism in her approach and remained flexible when I expressed discomfort at taking the herbs (in tea form) at this stage in the cycle. The US clinic advises against it, and I want to follow their instructions at this point. She was a-ok with that and said we would focus on acupuncture. She also didn't lose her cool when I said that I had reduced coffee but still was having a little. I know that the clinic's approach is NO CAFFEINE. But even last time around I wasn't able to completely abide by that. I still had black tea and green tea through the DE cycle and the pregnancy. So, is 8 oz of coffee really going to obliterate my chances with this DE cycle. No. I'm pretty sure there is no evidence that it would.

It was good to get back to acupuncture. I felt very grounded by the treatment and it started my weekend off in the best possible frame of mind. Being back to Dr. Ninja's centre helped put me in the treatment cycle frame of mind. I feel like this is fully game on now.

It's funny the things we do and don't do while on a treatment cycle. What impact do they really have? Who the hell knows? It's groping in the dark, really. I mean, I have held back from downing a 40-oz bottle of vodka. I somehow think this omission can only work in my favour. But otherwise, it all feels so fucking random. At the end of the day, I can do what I think is right, given what I know, and trust that this is enough. And that's what I'm doing.

I've started the dele.strogen shots last week. I started the cycle strong with my first ever self-administrated IM shot in the rump. I felt like Xena, warrior princess. I highly recommend trying this at least once. I'm ready to take on those shots any day (and guess what? PIOs are starting next week. FUN!).

The donor is starting her stims on Friday, according to the schedule. I am aware every day that things could not unfold as planned, that it could be canceled, that the donor could pull out, that...But I am working with the facts. And the fact is, for now, that this cycle is in full swing.

13 comments:

  1. I had small amounts of caffeine throughout our DE cycle and pregnancy, I'm sure small amounts are ok! Thinking of you and hoping for a great cycle and pregnancy!!

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  2. Good luck.

    I did all my IM injections myself too, but I did them in my thigh instead of my hip. Much easier and not so much contortion required. Plus they let me use a 1 inch needle instead of a 1.5 inch one which somehow made me feel better.

    Oh, and I drank 1 cup of tea a day and my normal amounts of wine until transfer day. I'm a rebel like that!

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  3. Oh my dear Augusta... in 6 IVF cycles I never mustered the courage to give myself an IM injection. I am in awe of your talent!!! :) Thinking nothing but good things for you right now. And I may have in fact had your share of vodka this past weekend. So, I've got you covered there! Big hugs my friend!

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  4. Yay for progress! I gave up tea and diet coke for now. I've read different things but mostly that a little caffeine (under 200 mg) is ok. I'm missing my diet coke like crazy. I think if I'm lucky enough to progress to the 2nd trimester (and beyond) I will allow myself that treat. It's all personal preference. I, too, have gone this whole cycle giving myself the injections. It was tough at first but I'm an old pro now. :-) I hope things continue to go as planned because I know how ready you are.

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  5. I am sure that one little cup of coffee will be ok. You have to do what you need to do to keep yourself from getting too stressed out. And you are rocking with the IM shots - way to go! I'm so excited for you.

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  6. A little caffeine, sure! I had about one soda a day during my DE cycle and pregnancy. No harm done, or at least as far as I can tell! Yay for progress!!! And for your self administered IM injections, yikes!

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  7. I have tried everything, I honestly think it gives us the illusion of control rather than any real control. Caffeine is hard to give up totally for me, you should do what you feel most comfortable with.
    I once asked my RE about this stuff, he said "don't smoke or use cocaine"- that's it. So assuming you fall into those guidelines, I say you are doing just fine :)
    always thinking of you

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  8. My RE said 8-12oz of coffee is fine. Wishing you lots of luck with the shots and the cycle!

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  9. You sound as though you're in just the right frame of mind. Focusing on what you can control and letting go of what you're not able to. I hear you on the caffeine, I've never been able to give it up completely and I agree a lot of this cycle stuff is random and I highly doubt a little bit of caffeine makes that much of a difference. I have always had a bit of caffeine through every cycle and my pregnancies and my docs have always said a little is okay. Oh the fun of PIO I remember those well! You are a brave woman doing self administered IM injections, I never got that courageous! Ice can sometimes help when numbing the area and my RN always encouraged me to try to relax the muscle as much as possible as well.
    One step at a time that's definitely the best way to focus in the midst of cycling. As the saying goes a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, just keep focusing on each step. Sending so much love & hope your way my friend!

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  10. Sending you every single positive thought I have, my friend. You need a win. It's your turn. xoxo

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  11. Yahooo!!! You're running full speed now!!

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  12. Oh my, self injecting, and IM to boot! You are a fierce and powerful woman. One who deserves some *%&#@!) caffeine. Warrior princesses can't go without their tea. I'm excited to see you getting in THE ZONE, after so much waiting. It took a lot of touch decisions to get to this point. Let's hope, aside from the ass shots, it's smooth and easy.

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  13. Wow. Even though i gave myself insulin but never was able or will be able to shoot myself up with those IF needles. So so so excited that things are finaly underway. Thinking of you!

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