Friday, February 10, 2012

thinly

While thin is a nice adjective to hear about one's figure, it certainly is not a great word to hear about one's uterine lining. Am I surprised? Nah.

The lining was only 6.5 mm this morning and not anywhere in the neighborhood of triple striped, or whatever that description is. Dr. RE used compact, or dense to describe what it lacked. He said it took a long time to visualize on the u/s, noting that good linings are identifiable within 3 seconds (for my and the medical fellow's benefit).

Our clinic changed their monitoring venue at the end of April last year, so I never actually went to their new digs. Women used to have to go one place for the bloodwork, and then drive up to the hospital for the u/s. Hospital parking was an expensive and time consuming ordeal.* At the new outpost, parking is free. And the location is closer to the highway, which is great when one is driving from afar.

I was so pleased to see that the physician on call was Dr. RE. It could have so easily been a different one, as there are 5 or 6 of them who are part of the team. I hadn't seen him since our big discussion in the fall and felt immensely reassured to see him and talk to him. He asked how the injections were going and talked about the fact that he wished he could prescribe this, but Dele.strogen isn't available in Canada. We both quickly agreed that the Dele.strogen was insufficient and that I would be back there shortly for more monitoring.

You'd expect to find me frustrated and disappointed. But I'm not. I've just been feeling grateful all morning. Grateful that I have such a great doctor, and a great team who have been helping us on this difficult journey. Grateful that we are able to go to the U.S. for DE IVF through the financial help of our parents. Grateful to have such amazing friends who have supported us, loved us, placed innumerable international phonecalls to keep connected, wiped our tears and made us dinner, and who continue to be there for us despite our protracted and thus far unfruitful struggle. Grateful for all of you women who find it in your hearts to check in with me on this blog or through email and also share your stories. You give me such vivid examples of how one fights this hard fight, and I draw much strenght from seeing how you pick yourselves up from the depths and find it in yourselves to keep fighting. I am grateful for being healthy enough to attempt another DE IVF.

I am awaiting further instruction from SG. I suspect that we will be adding estr.ace PV and that I will head back there for monitoring next week. I may also be driving over the boarder soon to pick up more Dele.strogen. I will keep you posted.


*the most salient example in mind is the one of the day of Sattva's retrieval, when I lost my parking ticket and realized this only once I got to the gate. I had to run into the parking office and pay the full day's worth of parking, not to mention hold up traffic for 10 minutes. But I didn't care too much. I had my very dear Sattva in the car and 6 eggs fertilizing upstairs.

14 comments:

  1. So glad that you are getting excellent care. I was on viagara suppositories 4x a day as well to helP my lining. I also did electro accupuncture 2x a week for 4 weeks prior to transfer. Just my assvice. As for delestrogen i bought in US.

    Did you just love scandinave? It is one of my favourite places!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bonjour Augusta,
    Ton message m'a beaucoup touché, de toutes sortes de manière.
    D'abord, tu sais que mon endomètre m'a aussi causé pas mal de soucis dernièrement. Le fait que j'ai obtenu de bonnes nouvelles à ce sujet aujourd'hui alors que ce n'est pas le cas pour toi m'a réellement peiné. C'est dur d'avoir de bonnes nouvelles quand on voit, quand on reconnaît la douleur chez les autres. En plus, j'étais vraiment convaincue que les injections feraient une différence.
    Ton message m'a aussi beaucoup touché parce que tu montres, encore une fois, une incroyable force de caractère en parlant surtout de belles choses qui t'entourent. C'est vrai qu'il est important de reconnaître toutes nos bénédictions, mais n'oublie pas de bien prendre soin de toi!
    Finalement, pour faire écho au commentaire précédent, je voulais te dire que j'ai moi aussi vu un acupuncteur et un ostéopathe dans les dernières semaines. Je crois bien que ces traitements m'ont aidé.
    Je pense à toi très fort pour la suite,
    Feelie

    ReplyDelete
  4. ugh this whole drug thing not being available in the country you need it is quite annoying. i love your positive attitude and am glad that you feel good about the medical team behind you. i so hope they continue to do their best to make this happen for you guys.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Of course I wish you'd been surprised in a wonderful way, but I'm so glad you're not feeling defeated by this little bump and that there's a plan to thicken you up. Perhaps corn starch? And you know what? You're a fine, fine exemplary model of perseverance and strength yourself, young miss.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'd love to meet you on one of the trips down to SG, if you're interested. I live east of DC and go to one of SG's other offices.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sending thick thoughts your way. :) I'm so glad you feel good about your team. I'm sending all of my good energy your way for this round.

    ReplyDelete
  8. you are amazing in your gratitude. I am thinking of you tons and hoping you are under way very, very soon
    so much love to you

    ReplyDelete
  9. You've got a wonderful attitude Augusta! I think that there is lots that can be done to thicken up your lining,as others have suggested. Hang in there and hopefully they'll have you fixed up in no time.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Gratitude is such a wonderful thing. It really sheds a whole different light on everything, and if it's not too ridiculous, I am often grateful for being able to find some gratitude in lots of otherwise tetchy situations. It sounds like you are in that place too -- and I am thinking thick, thick lining thoughts for you. (I've said it before and I'll say it again -- wish I could give you some of my freaking estrogen!)

    (This is gingerandlime...Blogger hates me and I can't comment with my username for some reason.)

    ReplyDelete
  11. My mock transfer was also "thinly" and no triple stripe too. I, like R, did electro-acupuncture twice a week for two months. I believe...that was the difference. Also had estrace vaginally and those stupid transdermal patches. But I think that electro-acupuncture will help to open up the blood flow to the ute to get the meds to fluff up that lining. Oh and I think I also took 400 IUs of Vit E daily too and some kind of tea that the acupuncturist recommended I drink. Just more ass-vice to pass along. But electro-acupuncture is clinically proven to improve lining thicknesses as per a study I read that was sitting in one of CCRM's doctor's offices. If I find the study, I'll email it to you...much love Augusta. Hang in there. You're doing alot better than I was when I got the "thinly" news...I was panicking!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Augusta, you are somebody goes towards the glass-half-full way of looking at things, which is just a wonderful quality to have. Anybody who naturally goes for that should feel blessed, because although we tend to think optimism or pessimism is in part a conscious choice, I think its mostly instinctive :(

    Electro-acupuncture sounds like a very good idea, hope you can get to do it! I'd cheer for any method that comes without extra doses of nasty hormones. Hope your uterine lining soon resembles a La-Z-Boy lounger :))

    ReplyDelete
  13. So very grateful that you are feeling hope and gratitude. I believe in your lining, but more importantly I believe in you. Xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ps forgot to sign my anon comment. It is i, your Oat.

    ReplyDelete