Thursday, February 2, 2012

mocking continues

I think I may have ignored important information to solve the equation I posted on my last entry. So, on the little dele.strogen vial, it says 20mg/ml, an important clue for us to solve this equation. To recap:

2mgs estra.ce t.i.d., PO + 2mgs est.race, PV + oes.clim patch 5mg every three days < 20cc of Dele.strogen IM, every three days.

If I divide the dosage to daily doses, and factor in the 20mg/ml information, we get this:

6mgs estr.ace PO + 2mgs PV + 1.67 oesc.lim < 13.33mg dele.strogen

                                      or

9.67mg < 13.33mg

Equation solved.


Still, all the math in the world doesn't prevent me from wondering how my body will react to this new form of estrogen. I am trying to reassure myself with reminders that my uterus is responsive to estrogen. Obviously not exactly like a uterus that has been stimulated by naturally occuring estrogen since the age of 11, but still, I have taken estrogen in many forms (alas, not yet in the form of dark chocolate) and had an "adequate" uterine response.

I think my fretting comes from the association I have with injections. I wasn't blogging back in 2009 when we started our treatments, but here's a synopsis. We were gearing up for an IUI in June 2009 and I was taking menop.ur. I diligently injected myself everyday and showed up for monitoring but NOTHING was happening. The u/s and the bloodwork showed that my body was absolutely NOT responding. Like radio silence. LH and FSH receptors probably never developed on my ovaries because of my unusal history, and so injecting the two did absolutely nothing. Alright, Dr. RE said, let's try the estrogen priming protocol plus injections. After a few months of priming with estrogen, we tried meno.pur injections again in September 2009. Again, nothing happened in there. Both times I could sort of tell that there wasn't much happening in my body. The subtles signs weren't there. It just felt like silence. I think I've associated injections with silence, with failure.

This is different. I'm not injecting gonadotropins. It's straight estrogen, to which *remember* my uterus tends to be responsive. My boobs are a bit sore. I'm taking it as a good sign. I won't know anything until I go in for monitoring on Feb. 10. And then the RE at SG can determine whether he likes that better than the estra.ce/oescl.im combo I was on.

3 comments:

  1. Yes, these injections have a fighting chance! Oh I SO hope they make you all nice and triple stripe plushy and that Feb 10 is a day of optimism!

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  2. Velvety shag, baby. Good and plenty is what I'm throwing in for. Pointless needles would be a hard thing to get over, regardless if the ambition is toward a different goal. You are a trooper here and I'm hoping that the experience will lend towards making this time fruitful.

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  3. How very cruel those scans must have been, Augusta:( They're cruel when there's minimal response. But no response must have been terrible indeed. But you are onto bigger and better things and I am personally taking the boob soreness as a good sign of things a'happening.

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