Wednesday, April 13, 2011

rest & gratitude

I felt so reassured by your comments, women. Thank you. A thousand times, thank you. It was helpful to read Finch's story especially, so thank you very much for pointing me to her blog. And Finch, I'm so glad that all was well in your pregnancy and you had a baby recently.

The update on the bleeding is that it stopped completely. As of last night, I wasn't even spotting. This is most reassuring. Of course it could happen again. But why not try living in the present moment. 

I thought I might go back to work today, but some wise friends talked me out of that nonsense. I will go back tomorrow, with the knowledge that if I feel the need to come home, I will. I'd sent an email to my manager last night and her reply this morning was prompt and unequivocal: rest as much as you need and come back when you are ready. And she doesn't even know what's going on. This episode did make me realize that I need to talk to her about it. I'll have to use the p-word. Better practice that today.

I barely walked around the house yesterday, not feeling confident in how my movements could affect the embies. Today, I feel more confident. I went to the grocery store to get some food. I noticed that all I feel like eating are fruit, fruit juices, bubbly drinks, and starches (rice, corn chips, rice cakes, crackers). How's that for a balanced diet. I still sneak in some veggies and proteins when I can. My nausea is in full force today. I was locating receptacles in the grocery store in case I needed to run for one. Thankfully, it never got to that point. 

The nausea is making me think that I'm still pregnant. Nevertheless, I thought taking another hpt might reassure me (or not). The drug store sold me a dud, unfortunately. Invalid test. I will return it to them and hope that they can sell me one that is useful. I know this is silly exercise, but you already know that I am crazy at this point in our relationship, dear readers, so this should come as no surprise to you. 

So, day time television is fascinating. I watched all kinds of nonsense yesterday and this morning. The place where I board is filled with televisions, hence not a bad place to have to rest. Canada is in the middle of a federal election and I was able to catch the English language debate last night (French one is on tonight, which I most certainly will watch). At least I am keeping current with the political scene during this time of rest.

I called Dr. Ninja's office this morning, and he wants me to come in on Saturday. They told me to rest and avoid too much stress, and not to worry too much. Yeah, right.

Thank you for your support women. I can't say it enough. Thank you.


  1. So glad that you are feeling better and that the bleeding has stopped. By all means, rest as much as you can! I wanted to give you some more "tales from the other side." I spotted/bled for weeks when I was pregnant. Not a lot, but almost always there. Never had vag. suppositories, only PIO in the rump. Still bled. I went 36 weeks with the delivery of twins who were 6 1/2 pounds each! You will get there, and you are doing great. Keep the faith (and get plenty of rest) and drink plenty of water :D (That last one I cannot remember why I was told to do that, but I remember that the nurse for my Dr. gave me that advice as soon as she told me of my positive beta and any time I spoke with her after that.)

    Thinking happy thoughts for you!

  2. Augusta I am so glad it has stopped. I cannot believe you are in this place too.

  3. So, so glad you are feeling better and the bleeding has subsided! I remember I started bleeding with our FET donor embryo cycle on Christmas was awful, I thought that the pregnancy was certainly ending and we were experiencing another loss, but thankfully after a couple of days it stopped and we were reassured a few days later when we had an u/s. Hoping so much that this is the case for you as well and that soon you will be feeling a bit more confident ((hugs))

  4. Good for you for taking care of yourself! I am glad to hear the bleeding stopped...

  5. Oh, I'm so glad to hear that it has stopped ... and that you are taking some time to relax.

  6. So very glad the bleeding stopped and that you took some time to rest. Geez, this stuff can feel (and be!) so precarious sometimes, huh? Sheesh. And fruits, bubblies, and starches sound delish to me; the other food groups will catch up later. Sending love, woman.

  7. I'm so happy to Hear the bleeding stopped! The nausea is a very good sign.

  8. You are so wise to have such wise friends, and even wiser to listen to your wise friends! I think that your plan to live in the moment is a brilliant one. Easier said than done, but a brilliant place to start.

    It is great to hear that you are so nauseous, I have such a great feeling about that!

    Oh yes, and I say you eat whatever the heck you want. I'd have to go back and find this study, but I remember the editor of Mothering Magazine giving a talk a while back and saying that emotional support during pregnancy is far more important than diet. it has been a reassuring thought as I try my best to carefully monitor my diet, but feel like I need to be doing so much better.

    Love to you my dear Augusta.

  9. Hey, it never hurts to take another HPT. Might not be exactly informative, but there's something awfully magical about them...

    It's really good news that you are not bleeding (though it doesn't follow that it would be really bad news if you started again, I promise) and still feeling pukey. I am full of hope and faith that all is well in there.

  10. Feeling so grateful the bleeding has stopped for you, A (though I echo Bunny's sentiments as well). I continue to feel really, really good about your embies. I know from experience what a loving home they have found. Take care of yourself (god bless the friends that recommended you stay home today!), let others care for you, and soon it will be Tuesday and you'll have the reassurance you want and need. Meanwhile we're all pulling for you.

    XOXOXO and love, H.

  11. I am heartened by the fact you are feeling nauseous. And, especially, by the fact that the bleeding just stopped. This is huge. And would not have happened, I don't think, if you were going through a miscarriage. (I hope like hell not).

    Also very, very glad that you are taking it easy and decided not to go into work. Now is the time to look after yourself, to show yourself every kindness. I am thinking some powerful good thoughts.

  12. So glad to hear that things are improving. I would think that the nausea would be a comfort - even though nausea generally sucks! Definitely take it easy this weekend.

  13. I am thinking about you as well. Eager to hear how your appointment goes tomorrow. It will feel good to see that heartbeat(s).

    My comments were brief as I was getting through my own storm. I know how that fear creeps into you and eats you from the inside out.

    My RE told me about a patient of hers that lost a lot of blood and passed a 6" mass. She came into the office and bled like crazy. My RE said it looked like a murder scene. The patient now has a son is named Jack - happy and healthy. Her summary was to tell me the body can lose a lot of blood without impacting the pregnancy.

    Tomorrow will come soon and you can put your mind to rest.