Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Eggs

My body has never produced eggs. The sum total of eggs I've ever produced is 0. Never ovulated. 99.99% likely that I never will. The circumference of all the eggs I should have produced in my reproductive years is the distance between us and our child. Today, we were able to start bridging that span.

We met at the clinic at 8am for the egg retrieval. Sattva looked tired, and said her belly was very unhappy. She also couldn't have coffee on the way over. I felt pretty bad for her, and just wanted the procedure to be over so she could start to feel some relief. We were all invited to the prep/recovery room where we stayed while she went in for the procedure. Once they got her on IV, and gave her antibiotics, things went pretty quickly. They wheeled her out of there and brought her back within 20 minutes. She seemed drowsy, but she was doing great, and able to have something to drink and eat right away after the procedure. Sattva started crying when telling me there were only 6 eggs. And all I could think and try to convey was that 6 was infinitely more than 0. The nurse caught this, and said under her breath that we were so cute. It felt more like poignant for me, but I caught the spirit of what she was saying. I guess there is something inherently and universally beautiful about an act of such altruistic proportions. I held my tears back, with my ever present clinician hat on, thinking I have to be strong when someone is feeling vulnerable.

Sattva was given tyl.enol 3s, ate some food and had a little nap, while Mr. August and I sat beside her. Just before we left, Mr. A was called to produce his sample. He was gone a long time and I was nervous that he was getting performance anxiety. He told me that the sample-producing room was in a hallway with traffic, and that it was pretty distracting when trying to get the job done. I was sending him sexy vibes. He finally came back with a smug expression, which I took as an excellent sign. The lab gave us the go ahead to leave, meaning that the sample was adequate.

When Sattva was changing, I asked the nurse about whether there was a high likelihood that we wouldn't be called back for Friday, meaning that none of the eggs would turn into embryos. Her face said it all when she expressed that this was unlikely. Having never gone through IVF, I wanted her opinion on this. I also wanted to reassure myself and Sattva. The nurse felt it was likely that we would get 2 good fresh embryos, and that embryos to freeze would be a bonus. Again, starting from nothing, I feel overjoyed at this prospect. The nurse could tell that I was anxious and suggested that she have our Nurse Case Manager call us tomorrow with an interim update on the embies. The lab will call Thursday afternoon with the fertilization report.

Mr. August, who had rented a car to get himself and Sattva over to FTT from Pleasantville, went to visit parents while Sattva and I returned home. We had a good conversation about work in the car, and then it was time to take her pain meds again, and she fell asleep. I dropped her off very groggy, and was glad to see that her husband was home. My next stop was my favourite flower shop to order a beautiful bunch of spring flowers for our beloved Sattva. I got it from the same flower shop that did our wedding flowers.

And now I must sign off and work on prepping for the defense.  I will keep you posted as we hear from the clinic. I am feeling optimistic, and very blessed.

13 comments:

  1. You've got eggs! And swimmers! Next up: embies!!!! This is awesome, A. I'm sad to think of Sattva feeling inadequate about her egg production, but so glad you and Mr. A were there to reassure her. She's lucky to have you two. Sending fertilizing/dividing/thriving vibes your way, my dear. xoxo

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  2. YAY! Great news! Can't wait to hear your embryo update.

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  3. HOT DIGGETY! This is so amazing, and optimism is warranted!

    It seems very common to be disappointed at retrieval time, even with large numbers. (I only got 22 eggs! Wah!) Perhaps it's something to do with the amount of discomfort one endures--it makes the result seem small. I hope she will come to believe that there's genuinely no cause for disappointment, though. I suppose the quickest way to that outcome would be for you to get pregnant, so let's just have that happen, shall we? Excellent.

    Good luck focusing on that defense! I hope you make substantial progress so you can have a low-stress transfer and focus on relaxing.

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  4. A very beautiful account of your ER. Really hope Sattva is feeling better soon. She is an amazing woman. And grow embies grow!!

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  5. Oh that smug look makes me laugh! Rocco felt like a heel with two lame sperm analyses that rebounded - catcalling to the women on the street from our closed car on the way home. It is good to love them, isn't it?

    The two we transferred for Toddlerina were very average embryos, one was even below average. It really can be done with two. Hold tight to that and you still may be surprised. I don't meant to talk me me me, but I hope it gives you inspiration.

    I too send beautiful virtual heart flowers to you both. You have come so very far.

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  6. You and Sattva have such a beautiful friendship. 6 eggs! That's wonderful. I am glad the nurse was helpful and compassionate. I'm sure Sattva will love the flowers. Can't wait for the next update.

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  7. Fantastic news!!! The incredible gift that Sattva has given you and the friendship you two share is such a beautiful, inspiring thing. Sending continued hope your way for Friday & so looking forward to the next update ((hugs))

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  8. OMG! OMG OMG OMG OMG!

    Three, no, SIX cheers for Sattva!

    Uh...I'm a little excited for you...

    This is absolutely beautiful: "The circumference of all the eggs I should have produced in my reproductive years is the distance between us and our child. Today, we were able to start bridging that span." The distance is getting shorter.

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  9. Such great news! I am so very excited for you! Can't wait to hear the update from the clinic- and how in the world are you able to focus on work right now? :) That's impressive!

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  10. Wonderful, wonderful news!! I am pulling for an excellent fert report for you all :D

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  11. Really such a beautiful friendship, and a beautiful day. There is so much love in your words and I am overwhelmed with emotion at reading this post.

    Satttva, well I just want to hug her. For her most incredible gift to you. For sharing her experience thru you with us. For being such a source of goodness in this world. It is just overwhelming.

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  12. Hugs, hugs, hugs to both you and Sattva. Am reading this a little late. But so glad that it went well. I am optimistic for you.

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  13. Sattva is such a doll! And you're right, 6 eggs is infinitely better than zero! I think you have great chances and I look forward to hearing updates!

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