Thursday, March 17, 2011

The anxiety creeps in

Have not heard from the lab yet. I will update as soon as we do. I have been able to stay very positive, but in the last hour, I've noticed myself getting more anxious. I went to school and printed SPSS (stats) output files "just in case" I would need to get technical in my defense. I also did a lit search on a measure I used in my study, and this got my anxiety going. SO MUCH I haven't read. I can't possibly know EVERYTHING before March 30th!!!

You get a sense of the anxious spiral I'm on.

I walked back in the house and Mr. A tells me our Nurse Case Manager called to confirm that I have been taking my prom.etrium since Tuesday. Three times a day, religiously, was my answer on her answering machine. If the lab hasn't called but she called to make sure I was on prom.etrium, it could be a good sign. Right? She would have heard news from the lab potentially, and knows that we are going ahead for tomorrow. Or not.

An added twist is that Mr. A has been sick for almost three weeks, and things have gotten worse since Tuesday. It started out as a cold, and now it's definitely something else. He started antibiotics on Tuesday evening, and he seems worse for it now. He is running a fever all the time and sleeps day and night. His cough is hurting his chest. He probably won't be able to come for the ET tomorrow if he is still in this state. I am able and willing to go alone, except for the fact that I have to take the prom.etrium orally tomorrow morning in anticipation of the procedure, and I've only taken it vaginally. I hear it makes people feel strange, dizzy and loopy when taken orally. Will I be able to drive? If anyone has input on this, please chime in.

Off to acupuncture in 45 minutes. Operation healthy, calm, balanced Augusta continues (with a few bumps along the way).


  1. Getting in car now. Driving north in general. Will call later for better directions. Love that man, but keep his sweet 'fectious self away from your fertile business.

    It all sounds good. Sit as still as you can. Needle it up and get that star thing on the top of your head. Always seems to work for me.

    I have placed Toddlerina's owl pillow at a place of honor in her crib. She is mighty and she will send you 10x the vibes I can.

    Go get 'em.

  2. I hate waiting for those calls! Pure agony. Good for you for keeping busy. I'd love to read your dissertation someday, I enjoy them. Dork, I know but I do work in research. :)

  3. I still just can't get over the convergence of events--the stress must be AMAZING! And you know, additive. At least for me, one stressful thing makes another stressful thing more stressful, leading to a cascading, catalytic stress TSUNAMI! Good thing you're more balanced. Plus, throw anything to do with SPSS in there... Having all the outputs with you is wise. That way when Mean Committee Member is like "what was your eta squared for this analysis" you can throw down!

    I so hope you're getting good news right now. Or when you get back from acupuncture... And not having Mr. A. present is a bummer, but from what I hear, transfer is the easy part. What you're dealing with right now is one of the harder parts. Prometrium gave me a dizzy spell or two, but nothing dangerous. OH PLEASE let all move forward with no hitches!

  4. I took prometrium orally for two months and never had any side effects. Of course, medications can be different for each person.

  5. I love Roccie's comment that she is driving north and will ask for more specific directions later. It is that kind of love for a person who we have never met that I am just overwhelmed by today.

    You are doing a fantastic job at staying calm and relaxed. Deep breaths. Loving thoughts.

  6. SENDING LOVE. I can drive you tomorrow if needed. Let me know.

  7. I am thinking good thoughts for you and I hope the mister starts feeling better asap.

  8. I will drive east and meet Roccie at the border!! Breathe Augusta breathe!!

  9. I admire your ability to stay busy! Keep breathing deeply!

    Thinking of you...

  10. It's so not fair that you have to worry about the embryo report AND your defense at the same time! The fertilization report was fantastic, though, so that's a very good sign on that front. And I know you're in great shape for your defense...just trust yourself and remember you can only know so much!