Saturday, February 19, 2011

A bad news, good news story

I was very sad to learn last night that Egghunt's FET was a bust. She had been waiting since the summer for this FET and finally all the stars had lined up just right for it. And it's a BFN. Words can't express how sad I feel for her. Please consider going over to her house and leaving her a little love.

Two more IF-related pieces of bad news came my way in the last 24 hours from two dear IRL friends. One is in her early 40s and trying to conceive on her own with a donor, and this month brought her another BFN. I feel discouraged for her, as her clock is ticking so loudly (her birthday is coming up at the end of March). I also remain hopeful, as life works in weird and wonderful ways. I have told her of R's and Kelly's recent BFPs, which have made her hopeful. Like many of us, she will be a wonderful mom when her child finally makes his or her way into her arms.

And this morning, I received an email from a friend who has been struggling with IF for about 3 years. It appears that her last fertility clinic completely missed intrauterine scarring from a past D&C and she has been doing IUIs and trying naturally for two years without success. She was going ahead with IVF at a new clinic when they recommended a sonohysterogram to see if everything was looking good. Which it wasn't at all. She obviously is not too pleased with the previous clinic, and also devastated about all those wasted months. I am sending her so much love and healing thoughts. I really hope that surgery will be successful at making a spacious, cozy place for her baby to grow.

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In the good news department, Sattva started her suprefact yesterday. She wrote to say it was making her feel a bit spacey, but otherwise she felt ok.

The other good news is that I got a date for my Ph.D. defense. It's going to be on March 30th, in the middle of the 2WW. What the hell am I going to do to remain calm under those circumstance? I do not know. I told Mr. A last night that I was freaking out. He laughed and said: "when are you not freaking out?" I guess I'm one of those women.

Send any and all thoughts as to how we are going to keep me on the CALM program, despite having to stand before an examining committee of 5 while they grill me with questions about my thesis.

Thinking of Pumpkin and Roccie, living it up in Chicagoland.

13 comments:

  1. I think having your PHD defense during the 2ww is actually a good thing as it will be a distraction and hopefully have the time pass quickly. Yay for Lupron!

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  2. Aw, Gussie, thank you so much for the shoutout. It's been a wonderful time so far with Roccie, Rocco, Toddlerina, and the Rocc family hounds. Who are not, in fact, hounds at all. I'm so very sorry to hear of your friends' difficulties and will indeed drop by Egghunt's pad.

    Wonderful news about Sattva's getting started and feeling well and your finally having a date for your defense. Awesome stuff. So what day does transfer look like it's going to be? Sending lots of love. xoxo

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  3. I think Mr. Augusta's sense of humor will hopefully keep you calm and distracted during the 2ww. So sorry to hear about your friends BFN and setbacks on the baby front.

    You wil do great in your PHD defense!

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  4. Anonymous? Really? That was me commenting up there, A. Let that be a lesson to you kids, not to comment as you're falling asleep...

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  5. It's awfully hard not to freak out over these things - I personally find it impossible. But I'm so glad things are moving along nicely.

    I hate the bad news that happens in our community. None of us deserve it, but when it strikes close to home...well, it hurts. There's no other way to put it. It's not fair that so many wonderful women - women who are going to make very fine mamas one day - are so thwarted in getting there.

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  6. Oh gosh! That certainly is alot of pressure during your tww...but I think it will be a welcome distraction. I do not buy that external stresses cause BFNs...you will do great!

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  7. Thanks for the cheers. You should have been here - talk about a good time. That Pumpkin is one of a kind.

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  8. OH MAH LAWD, the timing is just hilarious! On the side of good, being majorly distracted will be a good thing, and I continue to be convinced that your defense is basically a formality. The kind where the committee will say after you step out, "So, we're all agreed that this was awesome, yes? What shall we talk about for a few minutes to make her think we actually had to deliberate? How about gardening!" Not that I expect this to lessen the stress for you, but perhaps imagining scenarios like that will amuse you as you strive for calm.

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  9. Holy cow girl! You are gonna rock your defense just like you are going to ROCK your tww. You can do this. You will do this!

    What an exciting month March is going to be :)

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  10. On the positive, I think a thesis defense will be a fantastic--and very consuming--distraction from the 2ww!

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  11. I'm with bunny -- I think your defense is going to be a formality, and I also think the timing is a blessing in disguise. You won't be able to dwell on anything because you'll always be able to shift gears and freak out about something else: if the 2ww starts to seem too heavy, presto change-o just start stressing the defense. Freaking out about your committee? Think of those lovely embies.

    That sounds flip and I don't mean it to at all (why is it so hard to convey tone in a blog comment? WHY?). What I mean to say, in all honesty, is that you CAN handle this. You are going to be in the liminal phase to end all liminal phases...and you'll come through it like a champ.

    And just as an aside, I had my Bitchiest. Moment. Ever while waiting outside the door as my committee deliberated after my defense. A prospective grad student, whom I'd met earlier, came up to chat and I totally fanged out at her because I just did not have the mental space to deal with making nice at that moment.

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  13. I don't know how many times I've heard this..."When are you not freaking out" haha!

    *New Follower :)

    -Lavonne
    *Make A Wish*

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