Monday, January 3, 2011

Christmas recap.

Gee, I'm really glad this is not a vlog post. If it was, you would see me drooling from the left side of my mouth. I just came back from the dentist. Joy to the world! Not unlike everybody, I hate going to the dentist. So while I wait for the novocain to wear off, I thought I'd make an appearance in the blogosphere from which I have been absent for no good reason. 

The holidays were what they were. No highs. No big lows. I worked for the majority of the time, with the 27 and 28 off, and Jan. 3 (today). I'm not used to working during the Holidays. At least not the whole time. This was different. We also did not go visit my family in Montréal. My expectations for the holidays were low and my expectations were met. I had this feeling of remoteness throughout, which is maybe why I couldn't really post anything. Posting is so intimate, and it felt too strange a thing to attempt with feelings of remoteness.

We spent Christmas eve and day with Mr. August's parents, and his brother and SIL from the left coast. This made Mr. August very happy, and that is what I focused on. I sat myself down and had a bit of a talking to myself. It's not always about you, Augs. Sometimes, it's other people's turn to have what they want. Of course, my idea of a great Christmas would be just the two of us (and a baby) making our own traditions. It would then be followed by time with friends for the rest of the Holidays, with exceedingly short visits with family members. I find it uncomfortable to be with Mr. August's parents and they seem to feel the same way. My present from them was a bar of soap. What's the message there, people? I don't even want to speculate. I should say that the time I spent there however, went pretty well. I enjoyed spending a bit more time with the SIL, who I don't know very well because a 6 hour plane ride separates us and also because of a cultural and language gap that doesn't always make communicating easy. SIL is Japanese and I don't always understand when she speaks English, to my great dismay (I'm a shrink, folks. I have this innate need to understand people). I feel a kinship with her, yet I haven't really been able to get close to her at all. But over the Holidays, I feel like we made some inroads. There was word in the family that she "cannot have children", but I have not worked up the courage to ask her about it yet (because if I can't always understand when she says common words like skating or sliding, I'm not sure how I'll do with fallopian tube).

There were two really nice parts to the Holidays, though. The first one is when I set some good boundaries and decided to head home on the morning of Boxing day. Mr. August and I had already talked about this and he had communicated this to his parents, so my departure was seamless. I got to spend a glorious 48 hours at my house with chicken. I watched some Gr.ey's, season 4 that Mr. August got me as a present. Glorious and trashy! Watched 6 episodes in 2 evenings. The other nice part of the Holidays was New Year's eve. We ended up having a super lovely evening at one of my friend's. She made cheese fondue and chocolate fondue for desert. What do you mean I can't have dairy or wheat? I'll put that down as my New Year's resolution. It was delicious. I drank too much and fell asleep on the couch, but they woke me up as we neared midnight. We then hosted a New Year's day potluck at our house and it was well attended.

There were also a few great gifts. The best gift this year came in June and you know that it was Sattva's offer. I focused on that a great deal this Christmas as I let it sink into my heart more and more. This woman wants to put herself through uncomfortable and potentially painful medical procedures so that we can have a child. For no money. It astound me everyday. My mom, for all that I complain about her on this blog, sent me a whole pile of dineros. She wants me to treat myself to something nice. How about IVF with egg donation? I didn't tell her what I would do with the money, but thanked her over the phone and thanked her a thousand times in my heart. Her and my stepdad's contribution actually make a sizable dent in the total cost of the procedure.

And here is what Santa Pumpkin sent me:

Hoot! A little pumpkin coloured owl!!! I love it! Thank you, my dear Pumpkin.

I could write more about New Year's intentions and all that jazz, but I should really consider reducing the size of my posts, so I'll let that be part of my next one.

Tomorrow is our appointment with the program Psychologist. I'll update you either tomorrow evening or Wednesday evening. 


  1. You my friend are so incredible, thank you so much for your comment this morning...seriously I LOVE your comments, they bring me SO much comfort and love, you're the best my dear! I only hope I can repay you as much as you have given to me!
    First of all good for you for setting boundaries, so incredibly important! I also love me some trashy doctor TV, that show in particular! Sattva's gift really is amazing, people like her give me hope for this world, so selfless and loving, and so inspiring! Lastly that owl is too freaking cute! Wishing you lots of positive vibes for the appointment tomorrow...sending love to you my wonderful friend ((hugs))

  2. I am glad your holiday was ok, you sound like you are doing really well and I am so excited for you to get the cycle going.

    Thanks for the amazing support lately.

  3. It's so great that you feel a kinship with your SIL despite the language barrier and the distance. It can be so hard to develop good relationships with siblings-in-law when we live far apart and see them a few times a year at most. It's a relationship I struggle with on both sides of the family, and I'm so glad to hear that you have found a kindred spirit, even if you still don't know her very well.

  4. I wish it was your own traditions of three as well. This could be the year. Isnt that what we say in January?

    You know what, you are right about the intimacy. I had every intention to post from my in laws but the feeling never came over me. It is intimate. Great point.

    Pumpkin and her ways, man. Are you kidding me? That is darling. I would have loved to seen your face when you opened it. It is as cute as can be. You two deserve each other!

  5. Glad your holidays were good! Just wanted to say I stopped by even though I have nothing more meaningful to say. :)

  6. Will be thinking nothing but positive thoughts for you tomorrow!

  7. You know, it never even crossed my mind that the little hiboulette (part owl, part chive?) was pumpkin-colored. How funny! So glad he/she (the gender assignment is yours to make, of course) made you smile. It was too cute not send flying your way. I'm so glad that you established departure boundaries and had a lovely New Year's. I think potlucks are unavoidably delightful. And yay to mom and stepdad for the money! That's fantastic. Sending you squash-tinted, owly 2011 love, my dear.

  8. I love owls too. It just started more recently for me, but I have become a little obsessed with them. The little pumpkin one is too precious!
    I'm glad you survived the holidays and I hope you have a wonderful New Year!

  9. Shoot, Augusta. I am sitting here staring at the soap I bought for you and thinking you ALREADY have soap, so clearly the gift is wasted. You have topped my strange gift of used golf shoes. But, hey if you need golf shoes size 9 (also not my size), you let me know. They may be good for snow or something.

    I am also applauding you for getting yourself through the holiday. Your New Year's sounds lovely and there are such wonderful things ahead in 2011.

  10. I'm glad New Year's Eve was good and extra glad that you were able to decamp early and spend some post-Christmas time to yourself. Those boundaries are good, and it sounds like a very wise and sane decision.

    That's interesting about your SIL. And, yes, with so much specialized terminology it's one of those subjects that is very hard across multiple languages. It's a strange thing how we sometimes find each other in the real world, sometimes in our own extended families.

    I love the little orange owl! A good talisman for 2011.

  11. Sounds like a classic combination of nice and lousy. I like the part where you got to veg out with trashy TV. I'm such a sucker for that show. And the part where you got Helpful Cash!

    I hope you succeed in duping the Psychologist into thinking you're emotionally and psychologically healthy. Should be no problem--you know how manipulable psychologists are.

  12. soap.
    wow. that must've taken a lot of thought to pick out. is it scented or just the same kind they have in their home. I wonder, did they bother to wrap it or did they just tell you your present was in the shower?
    you should toilet paper their house next time you swing by and then tell them it's their present.