Thursday, October 21, 2010

Bonjour ICLW!

Welcome to my little corner of the blogosphere. Even if I have been blogging for almost a year now, this is the first time I've participated in ICLW. It took me a while to gather up momentum to do it, but here I am, hangin' with the cool kids.

You can read a bit of my history in this post. Mr. August and I have always known that having kids would be a significant focus in our life together. We tried fertility treatments, but my ovaries could not be woken up from their dormant state. A good friend has offered us her eggs and we are in the preliminary stages of a potential donor egg cycle. We have our next appointment at the fertility clinic on November 16, at which point we will find out a) that we can't proceed with this donor or b) the time line for when the DE cycle can happen. I would prefer option b. (Just so we're crystal clear, Universe). 

The cast of characters on this blog is as follows. First of all, there is all of you, wonderful friends and readers. There is moi, Augusta, Canadian girl from La Belle Province (but living in Ontario). You will find that I grumble a lot about my Ph.D. thesis and the only reason is that I am in the very final stages of writing it and it makes me want to vomit. So, sometimes I have to get that off my chest, and then I go back to infertility as a topic of diversion (!). Mr. August is my awesome husband. We just got married in March 2010. Sattva is our wonderful donor. And then there is Oat and Dragonfly, my beloved friends who sometimes make an appearance in my entries or in the comments. Our reproductive endocrinologist is Dr. RE (I know, I win the medal there for originality). I also see a Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor that we like to call Dr. Ninja. And now there is also Energy Medicine Woman, who I just saw on Monday (more on that later).   

Welcome to all of you. I'm glad you've stopped by.

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I was full of piss and vinegar when I wrote my last post on the train. I could barely stand to be in my own skin. Thank you for reading and commenting despite having to read such sourness. You are true friends, lovelies. 

The visit to my home province was what it was. There was no metaphorical chocolate cake, as was expected, but I survived. The party for my grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary went well. They seemed pleased and that was nice to see. I didn't realize my grandmother was pregnant with my mom when they got married, but I put two and two together at the party (married August, 1950; first daughter born February, 1951...hum...let me do some math....). The anniversary party was being held on the date at which, 21 years ago, my grandparents lost their 4th child, a daughter, at the age of 26. She died of breast cancer. We all missed her at that party. I found it strange that my mom would pick that date to have the party, and apparently my grandmother wasn't too thrilled about it at first, but that's my mom. She wanted to have it in a particular spot, and that spot was available on that day only.

There were 2 moments during the party that were significant for me. One sucked and the other didn't. Let's go with sucky first. I was over at another table where some relatives were sitting. I went to high school with 2 of their grand kids, and now one of them has become a mom through DS. They were showing pictures of her and her little girl. Nice, nice, whatever. Can we please change the effing topic. Oh no! Not before they made a point of asking what the hell was I waiting for to get busy and also point out that my mom was tired of waiting to become a grandmother. My mom, who was standing right there, chimed in her support for that statement, admonishing me in public for not having made her a grandmother yet. It would be one thing if she didn't know about our situation, but she has been informed. The cow. I was nonplussed, as you can imagine. But I was not surprised. I just rolled with it and left. 

Second moment was sitting at our table. The daughter of my mom's cousin sat with us and she and I really hit it off. She is in a same-sex partnership and was showing me pictures of her little boy. She was pretty forward with telling me how this little boy came to be conceived and the plans she and her partner had for a second child. So, I took a risk and told her we were awaiting the green light for egg donation. We didn't talk about it at length, but that certainly solidified our connection.
 
I've got more to write about this week. I went to see Energy Medicine Woman on Monday and that was something. But I'll leave it for now. It's crunch time with the diss. I've got 2 or 3 more weeks in me and then it will be written in full. Please have champagne at the ready, because we are going to celebrate. And if you are pregnant, there exists a lovely elderflower effervescent drink I can hook you up with. It's delicious.

Love and Fecundity,
Your Augusta




 

14 comments:

  1. Happy ICLW! :)

    I am so sorry about the comments from the relatives and with your mom chiming in. Been there myself. Hoping that you get good news with your appt and are able to move forward with DE.

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  2. Ouch beyond ouch re: your mom chiming in on the "when a grandmother" conversation. Good for you for leaving that scene. Know I am feeling righteously grumpy about her behavior right now, and outright perturbed re: the choice of dates for the anniversary. Grrr.

    But so glad your grandparents were pleased, and most lovely re: your mom's cousin's daughter, and making a positive connection with someone in the family about what is going on for you and Mr. A around filling the basket.

    Good luck with the D! I would like to request a champagne - elderflower spritzer, because a) you had me with "effervescent elderflower" and b) I want to drink a glass for every small triumph that brought you to the end and c) there are many and d) I'm a lightweight.

    XOXO, H aka O.

    P.S. -- Circling November 16th with love on the calendar, literally and metaphorically.

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  3. Imagine that. You made a deep instant connection with someone.

    Huh.

    You do it every time you post woman.

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  4. I think all the people involved in the Bad Moment deserve a punch in the gut, particularly your mom. Sorry, I know you don't want me virtually punching your family, but that's so completely cruel. Plus, like you have any obligation to this Cakeless Monster! HUMPH! I'm glad it wasn't pure lameness and sadness, though. I hope you have a successful day (or hour!) of work on the beast today.

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  5. Happy ICLW.. good luck with the dissertation! I have also had some similar bad moments lately... ugh... but glad you had the good moment! That's awesome. I've felt a real kinship with same sex couples over reproduction.

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  6. Nice to meet you! I am sorry about the sucky part at the party but that is nice you made a connection with your mom's cousin's daughter (does that make her your 2nd cousin?? I'm terrible with those!). I wish you lots of luck with your dissertation and your DE cycle and transfer. Happy ICLW! By the way, I am your newest follower and just added your link! (#72 & 106)

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  7. I'm glad your trip and the party went well. But, oh, your mom, Augusta:( I hung my head in agony when I read that bit. For goodness sakes! Way to be supportive. I'd have been MEGA pissed. I'm glad you made that contact with the cousin's daughter, though.

    And only a few weeks left on the dissertation!! Wonderful news, Augusta. You are truly almost there.

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  8. Oh Augusta, I am so sorry that your mother behaved so poorly at the party. A bit of support and understanding would have gone a long way in that situation. I think you deserve a medal for not punching everyone concerned (as Bunny suggested). Seriously, I don't know how you let that slide without letting some snarky comment slip. I know I would have let my petty anger get the better of me in that situation and I would have snapped their heads off (and probably regretted it later on, no doubt). You have amazing self control. Hugs.

    I have my glass of bubbles at the ready and am eagerly awaiting your completion of your dissertation. Would love to think that a few of us will be forced to opt for the elderflower drink too (I've had it before and I love it too!).

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  9. 2 or 3 more weeks? Oh baby you are almost there! The champagne is ready...

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  10. you are so funny, I just love your posts.
    glad you're hanging with the cool crowd :) you make it cooler.

    good luck on finishing up your dissertation.
    family gatherings always seem to bring out the best in everyone, don't they? I'm glad you kept your cool and just walked away rather than giving that group the satisfaction of squirming or answering their nosy and rude question.
    I need to learn some french, you and your little french buddies that sometimes comment make me jealous. i suppose i could comment in spanish sometime.

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  11. Good luck with the donor egg *hugs*

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  12. Stopping over for ICLW week.

    Just wanted to wish you all the best on your TTC journey, I too used donor egg but from my sister, twice now.

    Many *hugs*

    ICLW #163

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  13. Goodness, I started writing this a day or two ago, and never finished. So first, I am so pissed at your mom right now. How DARE she, knowing full well what you're going through?? I'm so glad you were able to connect to someone in your family who can identify with what you and Mr. A are up to. Can't wait to hear about Energy Medicine Woman! And mmm, elderflowers. Happy weekend, my dear, et joyeuse ICLW!

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  14. Hi, stopping in for ICLW.

    I think it's wonderful that you have a friend who wants to help by donating her eggs and you must be a pretty wonderful person to have inspired the desire to do that too. I hope your donor cycle gets the green light from the doctors.

    I was born and raised in SK but now live in AB, why do Canadians end up moving west? (and where to the people from BC go?)

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